I shared this pic on Instagram today but afterward I thought it blog worthy too- more like a Public Service “Detox” Announcement!  Sometimes without realizing it we have become “addicted” to talking, thinking and commiserating about our problems- just like the evening news! There is so much fear-based news and media that it can be difficult to realize that we’ve been caught in a cycle. So, I’m challenging YOU and MYSELF to reliquish power to these 5 patterns.

Sure it’s not the first of the month, but what better time than the time that we really have which is NOW to commit to DETOX and STOP doing 1-5! And hey, I’m looking at the “(wo)man in the mirror and I’m asking him (her) to change him (her) ways”  Although I am a psychologist that does not make me perfect or immune to $hit I need to work on too. So, I’m committing along with you all to being mindful on addressing these things too. How you ask? Well here are my tips on shifting 1 thru 5…

5 THINGS TO START…LIKE NOW!

#1) Validating yourself, so that when you go to bed at night your conscience is clear and you honored yourself. Shed the the “mask” and get real and be fearless in showing people whom you really are- a weird-beautiful-uniquely-gifted human being that has a unique purpose in this world. OWN IT! But if you keep wearing the people pleasing mask then you block your beautiful gifts from channeling thorough you. Reference: https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck  *profanity warning

#2) Remind yourself that in order to express your greatness there will be change. You made it this far in life and by virtue of being alive you survived change. Isn’t that AMAZING! Yes, because fear is your brains alarm system to stay safe that’s all. Danger is real. Fear is NOT real.  The unknown becomes known in each unfolding second and minute and day. Start a mindfulness/meditation practice and you will notice how anxiety and fear about change lessens and curiosity and adventure increases.

#3) Live in the present moment. That’s all that truly exists. The past is only a mental event in your mind that lives through you when you recall it. Otherwise it’s non-exsistant. Sometimes we live in the past because we think things should be different. When in reality it’s all unfolding in the way it should to help you become who you need to be. It may not always make sense but if you adopt the belief that “everything in life has a purpose for your higher good” you will notice how you start to feel a sense of trust and acceptance in the present. “When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

#4) Speak words of kindness and compassion to yourself. You really are doing the best you can in this moment. I know it’s hard sometimes but that is why #1 is strongly recommended. My heart hurts for others (and myself) when I hear how mean and hard we can be on ourselves. Some where along the line someone talked to us in less than loving way and this became our negative self-talk aka our inner critic. BUT you would not tolerate a friend or co-worker speaking to you the way you speak to yourself. So please make a commitment to speak words of kindness. Find blogs and resources on how to change negative self-talk and core beliefs. I highly recommend the book“You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay it changed my life back in 2008.

#5) TRUST YOURSELF. You have everything you need within you. Like I said you made it this far in life. Overthinking is often a characteristic of perfectionism and excessive need to control EVERYTHING to cope with anxious feelings. Overthinking, controlling, and perfectionism are scary traps to the underlying core belief of “not being good enough” or “I must be perfect in order to be loved or accepted.” Nip those beliefs in the bud by affirming that you are worthy just as you are. That making mistakes or being perfectly imperfect is what this business of being human is about.

Like I said before, I’ve fallen victim to “Things To Quit” but I refused to accept that way of being. Let’s dedicate ourselves to shedding the masks of fear, need for approval, perfection, regret, unworthiness and start living more authentically.

Here’s a little Shel Silverstein to encourage you 🙂

Shine on beautiful people!

Dr. G