Every day I work with clients on creating a values-based life. I support them in taking the smallest of steps (micro-steps) toward their values. It’s no different when I ask athletes, “What is your why?” What I am really seeking to understand is, what is the personal value and values associated with this thing you want to accomplish. Because guess what? Research shows that when our actions are connected with our deepest values, we are more likely to commit and follow through. I often notice a pattern where someone is suffering (emotionally, mentally, and/or physically) because they are living or trying to live, according to someone else’s (or society’s) standards, values, and expectations. Guess what, we either suffer for the things that matter to us or we suffer because we are trying to live up to the values of others. I encourage people to suffer for the things that matter, so at least you know that the suffering has meaning. That does not mean I want them, myself, or you to bear unnecessary suffering, no, we still need to use our coping skills 😉 

This past weekend, I got to suffer! I ran the Women’s Fitness Festival 5k and pushed myself to the limit. A few of my core values are challenging myself, living a healthy lifestyle, and being a positive role model for my son. I want my son to see his mamma run so hard it hurts but feel accomplished to finish what I started…and THAT IS EXACTLY what I did! I surprised myself and ran a 7:04 pace, placed in the top 11 overall out of 1649, and earned 3^{rd place} in my age group 40-44. WOW, I was not expecting that! What I did expect was to run according to my values – to challenge myself to keep going when I wanted to stop, to focus on the process with integrity, and therefore allow myself to let go of the outcome. Although I’m really happy with the outcome because for a while now I have been focused on strength training, increasing power, and speed, and I think it is paying off;)

However, I have to say the best part of the race was the finish, where a 12-year-old girl was tailing me. I had so much respect for her for running with the grown folks chasing me down at the end with all she had. I see her. She is me. We gave our all down to the finish! That’s the beauty of the running community, of racing, of witnessing all these people come together for a common value, while acknowledging that many personal values drive the reasons why we all participate.

So the next time you find yourself struggling and suffering, ask yourself, “What am I truly suffering for? Am I suffering for something or someone that is aligned with my values, or am I suffering for the sake of someone else’s values?” Be mindful of what shows up.