Hey, What. is. good. beautiful people!
I’ve been sparse over the blog and podcast all year, and really, since Ari was born, as I’ve been trying to find my “voice” again. I didn’t share much because when I share I want to be all-in, if I can’t and I am not, then I won’t. Personally, I have been going through a major shift in who I am, who I believe myself to be, and what direction I want to be going in life. Those shifts have been like slow moving revolutions are still working their way through.
For the last two years, I questioned my identity as an athlete. Should I compete? Do I have it in me to want to race or get back to triathlon? So much of the sport community that I relied on before having Ari was non-existent after (it’s still so crazy to me how after I had the baby people just up and ghosted me!). BUT, I love having goals on the board and be motivated to work towards something. After having Ari, my goals were obviously different and it was in the private moments of my garage gym that I had to focus on getting my strength, health and fitness back. It was hard. I struggled, a lot. I questioned myself and doubted. But honestly, it was the Street Parking Community that helped me get to where I am at. Small “bites” over the course of two years and here I AM! Actually having “race schedule” but with new intention.
The intention is to get back to the experience of joy, curiosity and fun of racing! To continue to show Ari our active lifestyle and the value of challenging ourselves with joy. Back in the day, I remember road racing and doing triathlon with so much joy. I honestly never cared about placings, time, paces or “qualifying” for things. I just raced my butt off and appreciated where it got me. I didn’t even have a bike computer for the longest time, and my race watch was a basic digital Timex, ha! If you go back to some of my old old OLD blog posts you can see pics of it..lol..Anyhow, I’m looking forward to finding that experience again. To let go of comparison, because my journey is truly like none other.
With all that said here is what I have the on board SO FAR for 2020….
Finally, embrace change in 2020. Change lets us know that we are growing. That we are ALIVE. That life is moving. Nothing in life is meant to be the same, not us, not people, not situations. I have changed. My voice and my message has changed. I’m embracing that in 2020 and allowing myself to fully love it!